Where Certainty Ends

The mind is a mechanism that has evolved over millions of years, solely focused on the survival of the host. All mechanisms, adaptations and abilities are geared towards survival and thriving under uncertainty.

A baby, even in its infancy, recognizes the need for security. The baby almost always gravitates towards any person that can soothe it. This behavior is not restricted to humans, but all organisms.

This sense of security becomes the ground in which the human can then explore a world, that is not under its control. Making sense of things, then becomes the primary focus of the individual.

A stable ground to walk on

Stability is the cornerstone of the individual. It makes sense that the human, builds mental frameworks on how things are, how they work and what helps them to achieve their intention. This can be thought of as layers of knowledge and understanding, that has been synthesized throughout their lives.

Without this stable ground, there is no room for further exploration. Both physical and mental stability are needed, but since we are focussing on the mind, let's restrict it to mental stability. And by mental stability, I'm not talking about psychological stability (such as mental disorders or the like), rather I'm talking about forming a worldview that is shaped by their experience and explains how and why things are they way they are.

As long as things work in accordance with a person's worldview, it feels safe, comfortable and stable. To step out of this worldview is inherently unsafe, but as long as the worldview is able to accommodate the new information, this is adaptation at work.

We don't even realize the myriad layers and assumptions we build on this framework. Rather it serves as a filter which sieves the information we gather from our senses and helps in understanding our surroundings and events.

Any event or information that threatens this framework is perceived as a direct threat to the individual. We can see this repeating ad nauseam in our daily lives, and the society we live in (irrespective of where we're from).

Various wars, atrocities, and violence are born from this sense of need to protect oneself. This is also our own behavior, and those of others, where reactions and judgements are born. All from a sense to protect this structure of beliefs and assumptions that we depend on.

Inquiring too deep

There is a reason why most people don't become philosophers or pursue deep questions. There is an almost instinctual pulling away that happens, because of fear. Fear of the unknown, to be more exact.

I remember vividly when this happened to me. To get out of my existential angst, I began diving more into spirituality and self-inquiry. There came a point where I could sense the truth in some of the pointings I encountered, almost touch the texture of truth embedded in them.

The immediate and lingering reaction was that of fear. I could feel it in my bones, that if I keep going down this path, it would irrevocably change me.

And change me to what ?
Is the pursuit of truth worth this change ?
What about my life, my family and others I care about ?

This dread was visceral in a way that I cannot describe. There was this conclusion already formed in my mind, that I cannot revert back if I indeed kept going down the road. It almost felt like facing my own death. Irreversible change.

Then it became a battle of desire to know the truth and the dread of the unknown. This was my first direct contact with the feeling of really stepping outside my comfort zone that was my worldview and venturing into the unknown.

It is apparent to me now that this dread was just the mind activating its defenses.
It was doing the best mechanism it could conjure up to throw me off track. The organism thrives in safety, not in unknowing.

The pursuit isn't worth my life

Looking back, it seems much hassle over nothing. Ultimately though my mind prevailed with its antics, I decided to give up pursuing the truth, and resigned myself to live normally without being driven by deep inquires.

The pointings were laid aside, inquiries I was grasping with, forgotten. Back to the world of career, material pleasures and chasing.

Little did I know that life had quite a different plan for me.